Piszę z potrzeby tworzenia, nie mając chyba nic do przekazania. Choć tego czy chcę coś przekazać dowiaduję się często kiedy już zaczną płynąć słowa. Zobaczyłem swój notatnik leżący na stole i po prostu zechciałem pisać. Boję się i nie, że ktoś przeczyta te surowe, nieuporządkowane myśli. A przynajmniej, że zrobi to nim sam zdecyduję je ujawnić. Szczęściem jednak mój charakter pisma jest chyba zabezpieczeniem nie do przeskoczenia dla przypadkowego, nieuprawnionego czytającego. Czasem nawet dla mnie samego.
What are… or maybe what our thoughts sound like? These are the words, sequences of sounds of a language in which we think. Another issue that is worth noting is that the language in which we think affects how we think. We build sentences in Polish different way than in English. A completely different representation of thoughts is a sign language: the person thinking it, sees in his or her mind hands performing appropriate gestures.
The wind were whispering low over the ground and the trees were rustling somewhere up high. The lone cawing of a raven. We sat there and looked at the leaves dancing in the air.
Then another raven answered in his deep, throathy voice.
“Do you hear them singing?” I asked you silently, like in fear of interupting the birds. You looked at me with some kind of wonderment in your face.
“Do you call it singing? They just… croak,” you shrugged.
“Everybody sings in their own voice, in their own way. It is all the same about us.”
“Maybe,” you muttered seemingly unconvinced, draining away. But then, you started to look around, seeking the source of these unpleasant voices. Then you looked at me.
“And how do you sing?”
“I do not know,” I smiled a little. “But sometimes I wish I could be a raven.” You were surprised again.
“Why? Would you like to eat carcass?” you seemed to be joking, but…
“We do it anyway. They give it to us and we take it. Ravens find it by themselves. They are always somewhere close, but in the same time so far away. We do not see them too often. They live together, somewhere up high and do not care about the world. And world is too busy to care about the ravens.”
You were looking at me for some long, silent moment. And then you embraced me. We were listening to the ravens singing.
You get up in the morning, take a shower, wake yourself up with a cup of coffee. You may smoke a cigarette or you may belong to the illustrious group of non-smokers. And maybe not drinking coffee? However, you move slowly or, because of being late, quickly towards your more or less boring life. Everything is just a routine.
You go to school, to college, to work … You live or simply wade through the day, until coming back home. Along the way, maybe you drop by to a place where you stop for a moment, before the next part of your everyday life. You satisfy your obligations, you rest if there is a time for it and then night comes. Tomorrow everything is repeated. Nobody breaks the loop.
That is why these days, as they are, we need our personal rituals even more. Moments when we dedicate ourselves to something else than just the daily rush, which slowly makes us forget what do we rush for. Do not be afraid, however, it does not imply bloody sacrifices or that sort of thing … ;)
You only need to stop for a moment… Make good, true coffee. Enjoy its aroma. You may also perform a little tea ceremony. A similar ritual is smoking a pipe. It cannot be smoked different way or at least, it does not make sense. I would also mention a glass of good alcohol in the evening or fragrant tea with rum… But am I not propagating various stimulants too much?
These are only examples that come to my mind. Everyone can find their own gap in the present. Find something that momentarily takes his or her mind away from this gray. It may be some passion, to which we come back in our free time. Something that calms our thoughts and places us far from the reality.
Folk wisdom says that we have to be down to earth, to be near it, not to get carried away from it, not to drift into our own thoughts. Because we live here and now, we are immediately away from each other and from ourselves.
Although the fact that everything became so down to earth and everything wants to pull us down is the reason for us to seize the moments. Something for us, the fragments of ourselves and arrange them, but never finish doing it… Because building oneself never ends and it should not end. The best moment to start is now, even with small things … For how else can we prepare for the great ones?
Who among us does not know any special places? Those where we feel at home, where we are away from the turmoil and gray of the world around us, running to work, school or home. Even if these places are located in the center of the city. I know at least a few places of that kind, but it is pointless to show it to you – to you it shall be quite ordinary. Why?
Everyone, usually unconsciously, build their own uniqueness. For me, these special places mean peace, thoughtfulness, rest… Stop on the way and sometimes they themselves are the destination. It is a place where you always drink coffee waiting for the train. It is a place, where you always meet someone. Finally, it is also a place where you meet someone for the first time.
We could think about a dark cafe with old wooden chairs, a wobbling table which we do not even mind, where the smell of brewed coffee with a cigarette or pipe smoke float under the ceiling. The place where we come to relax, read a book, to write or even work in peace. However, such an atmosphere is not what I am talking about. This uniqueness is determined only by ourselves.
I mean here the usual places, such as a typical coffeehouse in the city center or at a busy station or even a park bench. Their uniqueness is a person, a memory, special purpose or thought we had in mind being there for the first time. It is a conversation, someone who listened to us or someone we listened to. It is smoking a pipe with friend at the tourist table. In silence, with no need to use any words to communicate.
The present reality chases us into the trap of social patterns, pushing us between the cogs of financial machinery and time is something that we see only in the form of digits on our phones, and much less on the clock face… That is why we really need a place that will allow us to hide from it, drift into our own thoughts and at least give some respite and the strength to continue to strive for their goals.